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Re: I'm new and I have a poem (wow that was depressing)
Oh was right...she was being nice. Frankly honey, this does jack for people. You're using hackneyed, cliche, yin and yang analogies that everyone uses all the time when they can't ...
Jun 21, 2005 -
Re: How did I ever sleep alone
Hi Carmina! Just so you have a little heads up, Incadensence and myself are the crulest people when it comes to critiqueing, so don't feel bad. Both of us just ...
Jun 20, 2005 -
Re: [I never know where these go] Paintings
Um...Lordy. Yea, um, all my own critiques were taken by Writersdomain. Just wording things, but...sometimes i don't think i should read poetry by my friends. It's both a beautiful lightning ...
Jun 18, 2005 -
Re: It's Alright
I'm not sure I one hundred percent agree with Incan. True, this is a like hackneyed subject, but the format is over done as well. How many times have you ...
Jun 15, 2005 -
Re: Hello, God.
Tessi! Have you returned to us? I do hope so my love. Well, anyway, onto the poem. Over all, I think this was wonderful, the ending was superb, but the ...
Jun 15, 2005 -
Re: going through some old notebooks.
*le sigh* Incan...how do you do it? All too often I trip through this site and mob the attempts at poetry with my flock of raven keys till I feel ...
Jun 14, 2005 -
Re: Who
First off...THREAD BUMP! Sheesh, thread bumps piss me off. I'm only going to actually reply to this because I think someone needs too...Bitch much? That's all I get from this. ...
Jun 14, 2005 -
Re: turning the tables
Interesting idea, but I think you made it a little bit too long. Maybe take out a stanza or two and it would be a lot better. But the imagery ...
Jun 14, 2005 -
Re: Poem--"This is Life"
I'm not sure I like it. I mean, just earlier I made a post with my own type of love poems and...this just seems childish to me. You were infatuated, ...
Jun 7, 2005 -
Re: postsuicide
Interesting, but not one of your best. The last stanza was much more...you. I get the feeling you wanted to write about a suicide, but couldn't think of the words, ...
Jun 7, 2005 -
Re: get away from me [lyncathropy] (over 13 - language)
Heya fire, long time no critique, eh? Well, to start off, this was pretty good. Over all, I liked it, but you lose me partway through it. The third stanza ...
Jun 3, 2005 -
Re: Corduroy Summers
Hey Chev, how's it going? See you're starting toget over your writers block, but not quite yet. This is nice, like everyone's said, but there's no real point. All I ...
Jun 1, 2005 -
Re: untitled
Powerful, intense, and painful. Eating disorders are no joke, and you have taken such a horrible mental disorder and put it into words in a way that I can't get ...
May 24, 2005 -
Re: mancunian reject
Interesting...not my fav, but interesting. Nit picky time though love. First stanza, do you need winter christmans It seems kind of redundant tome. If it's christmas, it's winter. And I'm ...
May 12, 2005 -
Re: The Blade
Rhyming couplets about suicide...how...original. Please, Lord and Lady, I hope you can hear the sarcasm. THis, well, is not the best I've seen in here. Not, neccesarily, the worst, but ...
May 12, 2005
